There are many reasons why people engage in relationships. Some couples just perfectly vibe with each other. Relationships, such as romantic ones, are difficult to form. You have to create a romantic bond with someone where intimacy plays a huge role.
Romantic relationships that we see in movies, where everything is a perfect picture. And just because everyone seems to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you should be too.
Engaging in a relationship, especially a serious one, shouldn’t be dictated by anyone but yourself. So if you are still confused about what you think you should do, here are the signs that you are still not ready for a serious relationship.
1. When you’re not in a good position right now.
If you feel that you are still in a position in your life that you are fixing or trying to make better, whether that be a financial, career, or mental health crisis, a relationship is not for you at the moment. If you feel pressured by the idea of being in a relationship, then that is enough reason for you to not be in one yet. Be present to yourself first before being present with somebody else.
You deserve love, not just the reassurance of somebody else. You need your own opinion of assurance. Secure that self-love and care.
2. When you’re having a hard time rekindling the pain of yesterday.
It is normal to absorb the pain you experience from your past relationship. Pain is essential for the growth of a person and can create learning opportunities from this difficulty. However, if this heartbreak is what consumes your mind and heart, this can cause problems in your new relationship. In hindsight, instead of moving forward because of this past heartbreak, you might end up not trusting your partner. If you are still re-living the pain from yesterday, you might find it difficult to move on, and your past traumas might be passed down to your partner.
You should not indulge your heart in a heart-fluttering moment with a new beau. Save the trouble for yourself and your possible partner in another heartbreak. Instead, focus on healing first.
3. When you’re still a stranger to emotions.
A relationship involves a lot of emotions, not just love. You have to understand your emotions well. You should know what emotions cause triggers in situations that you respond to with emotions and how you play well with these emotions. Because emotions are not just felt by feeling them, it is also important to know how to communicate these emotions so that you know how to express them.
Since you are in a relationship, your emotions are not the only ones involved. Emotional awareness is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. So if you are not yet aware of your own feelings and emotions, and you turn your back on a crucial conversation that might help you and your partner because you are not open to it yet, then how can you trust yourself to understand your partner’s?
If you are not yet open to looking within your emotional awareness, it is not yet your calling to form a serious relationship.
4. When you’re not ready to give.
This is not about not sharing your drink with your partner, or refusing to let them have a bite out of your burger. If you hate the idea of giving somebody access to your life and possibly sharing your time with this person, then that is enough reason for you not to engage in a relationship, much less a serious one.
When you do not consider their feelings when you argue, or you find it a liability to always think about their wellness, being selfish is not in and of itself a bad thing. However, there are limits to it. You can focus on yourself all you want, but if you want a serious relationship, it’s better to focus on your own growth first before thinking about sharing your life moments with others.
5. When you do not have much energy to communicate.
Communicating, whether with your friends or partner, is important. We hear this in every piece of relationship advice. It is true that communicating effectively is the key to making a relationship last, because you can get to know them deeper than they seem.
Communicating effectively takes a long time; it does not happen overnight. You need to practice this behavior. This includes taking your time to listen to what they have to say. Communication is a give and take mechanism; it has to work both ways.
6. When you expect perfection.
Relationships are not what we see in movies and what we imagine them to be because we read a romantic book that seems to fit our idea of a perfect relationship. But in real life, we cannot expect perfection because people are made to make mistakes.
Do not expect your partner to fill in the missing pieces of your fantasy. You must see your life with this person realistically.
7. When you still need public validation
In terms of diving into a serious relationship, it should be your own decision and not anyone else’s. You are the one who will be spending time with that person. Therefore, it should be on your own accord if you want to have a relationship. Do not let anyone control your timeline. Everyone has their own pace. Falling in love or being in a relationship shouldn’t be validated by anyone.
8. When you know in your heart that you are not prepared for it.
The reason is simple. You do not owe anyone an explanation of why you choose to be single. Even if you are already in a good position in life or things are looking good for you, if you feel like you shouldn’t be in a relationship right now, then trust your gut.
You like the comfort of being alone, so be it. Be single for the sake of your own validation rather than be in a relationship for the validation of others.